This page is a humorous view on the way I view things.
Please remember this is all in fun, and don’t take it to heart………..
Scroll down for my blog
Michael Jackson
I couldn’t be any happier if he fell off the face of the earth.
Maybe if he did, his own biological family would pick him up while he was
afloat in space…the aliens. Why does the media shove him in our faces? I could
care less if molested those kids. Guess that’s the price of admission to
Neverland.
SUV’s
These vehicles really tick me off. There’re just
gas-guzzlers for people who want to bully other drivers. HELLO…this could be
why our gas prices are so high! It’s all about supply and demand, and these
huge mothers demand tons of gas. I’m sure 98% never get taken off road; which
is the whole point of having a SUV. I once heard somebody say they were afraid
to take theirs off road because it might mess up the suspension. Guess their
SUV had a defect…hope they got a discount! Suburban housewives think having one
is a must; Good Housekeep magazine says they’re great for hauling groceries.
Poor SUV’s, they’re just begging for some fun. Somebody ought to make a SUV
neglect law.
Handicapped Parking Spaces
If “the head of whoever designs parking lots” were
disabled for one day, he’d see what a major **ck up he created by not designing
them correctly. They are always two feet too narrow, which leads either a huge
scrape on the car door next to you OR two busted kneecaps from where I ran out
of room. If they are the right width, the lines are on the wrong side…and
they’ve got the brains to mark it as a “van” spot. What van has a lift on the
left side?? Even if it’s a van spot,
some moron is bound to park there, even with three other open handicap spaces!
Personally, all disabled spots should be diagonal; I’ve had the best luck with
those. Read
my commentary published in The Virginian Pilot
Fad Diets
Of course you’ll loose weight if you only eat one
thing………it’s called malnutrition. As for the low carb diet, people have known
for years if you cut back on carbohydrates the pounds will disappear. Somebody
just marketed it, good for them…way to make a buck.
Funny fad diet skit
http://www.illwillpress.com/fatkins.html
KFC
I hope people realize 75% of what they pay for a combo
there is for the huge honeycomb looking thingy their food comes in. The
chicken, biscuit and side order look so sad in the half-gallon tray, it’s
pathetic. What, is KFC trying to trick us into believing we eating dainty
little proportions of food, so we’ll come back for seconds? What ever happened
to cardboard? Cardboard used to good enough for everybody, not to mention the
fraction of the time it took to biodegrade.
P.E.T.A.
I’m all for animal rights…I really am. But if they put
all that energy into something else every year when the circus comes to
town…like human rights, god just think how much better off we’ll be. I could
sure use a hand advocating! How are we supposed to treat animals right when we
can’t even treat all members of our society right?
Pre-Split Biscuits
Are Americans getting too GD lazy to split open their own
biscuits?! It’s bad enough they come in a bag frozen…how much easier can it be
to have biscuits with your dinner? Then to add to the laziness of it all, they
are pre-split. What’s next, butter already inside? Hey, now there’s an idea! No
matter how slackass-friendly they become, they won’t top Grandma’s!
Correct Terminology
Just a quick blurb…it’s not electric chair, it’s power
chair. I don’t get sent to my death by electrocution whenever I take a seat in
my wheelchair now do I?
Terri Schiavo
“Quality of Life”
My life sucks, KILL ME! Na, but really…I feel sorry for her parent’s
denial and ignorance. It’s a shame Terri had no dignity what so ever. I don’t
believe in ghosts, but if they do exist, I hope Terri’s haunts the hell out of
them. The spoof of what happen to Terri is my favorite South Park ever!
Gas Prices
Tired of high gas prices? Next time around, don’t elect
somebody who has a huge chunk of stock in oil companies. Doubt Bush is helping
to lower them, he’s making butt-loads. Fill ‘er up!
Fighting in the Holylands
I don't think anybody should occupy it.
My mama said if we couldn't play nice and share the toys
ain't nobody gonna have them. She'd take them away.
Yup, I said it. Blow the Gaza Strip off the face of the
planet!
MY BLOG
Read at: http://ivys2cents.blogspot.com/
Read at: http://ivys2cents.blogspot.com/
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